So I’ve done some very dickish things as a darkwraith in Dark Souls, mostly involving firestorm. I’m certain my stories are not the worst but they’re probably some of the worst things I’ve done! I’m leaving this here as a confessional of sorts, but also a great place to leave my invasion stories.

Some context: these stories were probably performed on my SL1 dickwraith character, using a +5 chaos battle axe for max damage. I’m armed with a max pyro flame with firestorm and fire surge for the comedy.

I was fighting a naked character with bonewheel shield, and fighting on the roof of Sen’s. We were on the narrow bridge and my opponent was clearly trying to run past me to the boss fog. We had a small interaction which left me with the impression that it would only take two hits, and even hitting the bonewheel shield would do considerable damage. The single hit I landed caused fear in my opponent so she started running. I thought of getting a handy backstab (remember I’m playing a dickwraith) so pursued. In my excitement I didn’t notice that she went into the cage lift and I continued running. We shared a tense ride down to the ground floor, and we were both attacking like mad. My wolf ring allowed me to get the hits and my victory achieved.

Again on the roof of Sen’s, I enter the host’s world and go on the hunt. I see the archer is missing so start running to the top. I see the words “Summoning Phantom” on my screen and realising that Tarkus was on his way. I’d earlier failed to kill a character being assisted by Tarkus that night so thought I was in for a difficult fight. I got to the top expecting Tarkus and the host but saw neither, until I glanced across to the building with Tarkus’ summon sign and saw them both standing in the doorway. They had not seen me yet so I armed firestorm and waited out of sight until the inevitable: they started crossing the bridge. When the host neared I cast firestorm and caught him as he rounded the corner, probably expecting a quick backstab on the black phantom crouching on the floor just before flames erupted out from the ground.